Accepting Present Reality

Accepting the present reality. It is uneventful at best, and painful in the norm. I am close to quitting. Quitting what? What am I trying? I see nothing to try, nothing worthy anyways. It seems I must sit here without any expectations. I try and it fails. I do nothing, and nothing happens. I sit without expectations. It is realistic and it conserves energy. Relax. I now calmly explore the depth of this depression. I have not yet claimed it as my own. I am still somewhat detached to it. It is a strange and interesting entity. It seems to have no life of its own, only the existence I allow it. It always takes control after a while. It does not submit to my wishes. Yet, there is a measure of compromise with this thing. I settle on having the weaker side of this force. This way it is tolerable. God’s grace is sufficient to manage this mess. I may abandon this thing in the right circumstance. It may be a minute or it may be a few hours. Slowly but surely its seeps back into my veins. It runs its course in my system very effectively. The exploration continues. I discover useful information as I venture into the intricacies of this animal. It is wild that is for sure. Perhaps, one day I will encounter this force thru a different perspective. I may be of assistance to someone in this same predicament. For now I yield to the undertow. It is swift and strong. I have wasted energy fighting it. I do not have the will any longer to contend with it. Kill me.

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About Dionys

I am perpetually seeking the aesthetics found in the realm of diverse creative arts. I am often dedicated to producing creative projects also. I balance my intellectual pursuits with various action sports. I consider physical fitness important along with adequate nutrition. I am an avid traveler and an explorer of wild places. I am Biblically Literate therefore a Believer in Jesus.
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