A Note On My Notes

The blinking cursor stares at me as it dares me to make a move. What motivation is there? What support do I have? Many questions are plaguing my mind: what where, why, how etc. I wish I had less time to plan my own demise. I have candidly written what I feel for a while now. Change has not come. The content of my speech and writings has varied due to thorough exploration, however all this has accomplished little. All the main adjectives have been present from the first of these entries till now. I have been redundant in a creative manner. Right now I just want to go to sleep. Sleep some of this sorrow away. I feel like I have exhausted my vocabulary to express myself during this stage of my life. What else can I say? I probably already said it, but I may have changed the order I said it in. The bottom line is also the top line and the middle line. The viscous cycle continues relentlessly. I write then read and edit, for what? I have too much time to plan my own downfall. As I have said before, I am filling empty white space with blackness. There is a double meaning, but a single purpose. Synthetic friends can only do so much in the midst of my searching. Thank you any ways. Alone I awake to another day to endure the emptiness in blah blah land. As I look at the path before me, I am reminded of the one thousand deaths I have died and the fifty thousand symbolic tears I have cried. I am tired of this waste of a life. Broken pieces are now too numerous to account for, so I regress to darkness. I am sorry that I don’t care, but I don’t know how to stop from falling to this despair. This is why I want to die.

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About Dionys

I am perpetually seeking the aesthetics found in the realm of diverse creative arts. I am often dedicated to producing creative projects also. I balance my intellectual pursuits with various action sports. I consider physical fitness important along with adequate nutrition. I am an avid traveler and an explorer of wild places. I am Biblically Literate therefore a Believer in Jesus.
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One Response to A Note On My Notes

  1. Wendy says:

    I personally don\’t like the last line, but it is normal once in a while
    we all have the same desire.
    You\’re not alone, you\’re never alone you might no see It,
    but you can feel It.
    It\’s a shame to see how blessed you are
    and how poor and sad you are
    All at the same time
    But I know one day not that far
    you\’ll see the light.
    Chocolate    😛

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