…As I was getting dressed, I felt a tinge of nervous anticipation. The invitation arrived in the mail about a week ago. It has been over a year since I have been involved in anything of this type. I barely could recall the last time one of these gigs was even a mild success. I would steal a glimpse at the script enclosed with the invitation every so often while I continued to get ready. I felt I was prepared as I could be, but this un-easy sentiment refused to leave me. I found myself traveling back roads to avoid traffic and assure myself an early arrival. I had an appointment with the director prior to the rehearsal for initial orientation. I took a few wrong turns, but I corrected my course easily enough and found the place with time to spare. The building looked more plain and worn than the pictures reveal. I immediately spotted a maintenance man who was quite unwilling to help me. I inquired concerning the director and the meeting, but he pretended not to know of any of it. After a few awkward silent beats, he walks over to the back door in the alley and opens it for me. He gestures me in by tilting his head slightly adding a low grunt. I quickly walked past him into a dimly lit auditorium. The place was even less inviting on the inside. There was no sign of life among the seats and small stage. I continue to inspect the room when I hear the door close behind me followed by the sound of the lock being turned. I was now locked inside with the invitation letter hanging loosely in my hand all alone in this auditorium.
I have had some of these types of events back fire on me before, but this was a different experience altogether. When I first started to pursue a life on stage I was filled with motivation and hope for great things. The road quickly turned rocky due to a few withdrawn invitations to minor affairs. I persisted being resilient, thinking I would eventually catch some breaks. The opportunities came, but they were rolls really meant for others. I was glad just to get some work, so I occupied accordingly. I acquired a couple or so allies while I continue to aspire to bigger and better things. A few years later I met different characters with varying experience, thus a drama group started to develop. For a couple or so short years we had a growing success in the ever changing road show we demonstrated on a regular basis. Even in the height of our performances, I knew this was just a taste of what could be on a larger stage. All the actors in our show began to insinuate fatigue. I was all the more anxious to keep the party going. I did not want it just to continue, but I wanted it to be greatly enhanced. The opposite did occur shortly after. Less and less actors would show up to perform, thus we had to perform multiple rolls.
Now here I stand all alone on stage in a dimly lit auditorium. The stage is set. My lines I have memorized. The props are all in place. I run through my performance nonetheless as I hear my own voice echo on stage with no supporting cast no director and no audience. After a short while all my desire deflates, and I calmly exit stage left to my dressing room where I now sit casually writing this epilogue. Minor roles have presented themselves, but they were short lived and unsatisfactory to say the least. A few roles appeared to carry promise, but the offers were rapidly reversed. I have tried and been denied. I applied many a times in diverse arenas with nothing to show for it. I have all but given up hope for anything of worth and significance, when an even heavier blow like the present one hits me blindside. This has played a part for my neglecting certain offers for the concern of adding to the deep onset disappointment. I hope I would decipher a true invitation if one should ever come. At this point I just do not know what else I can do.
I guess I should start looking for a way out of here. I am getting a little hungry and tired of writing. I just heard a door open and some footsteps outside my dressing room. I’m going to see who it can be now…