I wish I could see you. I do not even remember what you look like. My vague memories are somehow sufficient to sustain my longings. I feel like I have waited in pain in vain. I lost track of how long it has been that I have received any contact from you. I even wonder sometimes if I ever knew you at all. It gets to the point that I doubt my own reality. The questions wracking my mind have caused me much harm. Have you totally forgotten me? I cannot forget you even if I tried. I feel like precious time has been lost never to be recovered. I have utterly failed. I must not be fit to exist in this space and time. I am requesting to be relocated. Will I ever be able to update this entry? I wish it so. Can you hear me? Can you see me? If you could, then maybe some understanding would sprout. I am still searching for you in the milieu. The search has made me sadder and madder with each look. I see distinct forms of life, but nothing seems to be like me. All communication gets warbled in transit thus becoming gibberish upon reception. I wish I could clearly see and hear you. I wish I would be truly seen and heard. I have no point of reference in my experience of which I can site such a case. The raw emotions of love were awoken untimely causing acute suffering when love was not to be found. The hunger persists, but all remedies remain elusive or non-existent. I feel all alone here as I attempt to dull the agony which is perpetually inside of me. Could you be in such a disposition too? I ache to connect spirit to spirit. Could you be near yet we both be unaware of each other? I wish I could just see you.